Three months tops (seven years ago) love
So this guy I saw for like three months tops, seven years ago, has been texting to meet. He found out I was single again and, I swear, on the third night I split decided to post something about feeling like shit but knowing I would be ok eventually… and he texts me "How are you? Is everything ok?", that was ten months ago at 1am, on a monday.
We met on 2007 through my then-boyfriend who was friends with his then-girlfriend. We both broke up and shortly after we ran each other at a party and he asked me out. I said yes immediately.
When he told me he wanted to cook for me the only thing on my mind until then was the appropriate sexy underwear I would wear that day.
There wasn't much to be said, it was clear we kinda more than liked each other ever since we met and now we could see us openly on a different way.
Short timing was on regard he was moving cities and soon taking charge a family business there and I was still committed to my second degree and job. Nothing to be told then, we knew from the start it wouldn't last long, so we enjoyed while it lasted. I liked our dynamics: I arrived his place, finished work answering last e-mails, closed my to-do list for the day while he moved around the kitchen and living room cooking dinner and kept refilling my glass. Then foreplay began, we would undress each other slowly and yummy-y make it, cuddle for a little while, talked, laughed… hard, and then he fed me dinner. Sometimes I spent the night. Sometimes I had an early meeting or deadline the next morning so I'd rather go home. When the date was set for him to leave there was no drama.
No complications. We just kissed, hold each other tight feeling sad and said goodbye. He asked me to go over to spend the weekend a couple of times the first year but I honestly never made an effort to go see him, and neither did he to come and see me. So life went by.
He got married earlier this year with, I guess, the right girl and the right agenda. He mentions being kinda tired of meeting a heavy load of social commitments all the time… and his wardrobe (?) haha! I love to make a man feel comfortable for small-talk, too. Now, I feel he has been insisting we meet probably not because of me, but because I sense he misses the guy he used to be back then. Melancholy over that person moving freely, easy, happy without even notice at the time I bet, far away now.
He was so cute. A total polished gent arriving from the workday on a dark suit and white shirt. He said to me "Make yourself at home" as he gently kissed me on the cheek.
Then coming out of the room and entering the kitchen was that who must have been Magic Mike's cousin with gold brown beautiful skin, no shoes though, saggy pants and loose old white t-shirt, from which I could see through the tattoo on his back while cooking for me. He grew a few veggies, tea leaves and weed on his roof garden… which he had built with no more than polyurethane tubes, dirt and a YouTube tutorial on understanding how to seize pluvial waters. A hippie in disguise basically, and so handsome! Until this day, he has been the only partner I've had who directly asked for anal in a respectful, sexy, loving, tender manner that I did everything he wanted and more, gladly (God, please leave some of these gorgeous specimens around for us!). Obviously, getting my way as well. Damn! He knew how to repay cooperation.
Where and why we loose ourselves to keep a relationship, or a life, or a job less than exciting for us? Why do we let that happen? I would so love to tell him that he is still that guy I knew back in '08, if he wants to be. That when someone loves you as you are they don't sacrifice themselves or ask you to sacrifice yourself (or the job you like, or friends, or ways, or whatever) for the relationship.
But then I remembered I am no spiritual councilor, his mother or his wife. If he wishes a different life or is entering an early middle-age crisis he should probably go to therapy, not text at 1am on a monday the girl he saw for three months, seven years ago, who he has been texting for ten months now and hasn't agreed to see him because he is married and because life is complicated as it is… just saying.
Fall in love with who you are today ;) If not, life's too short: Make proper arrangements.