THAT LIFE TRAIN METAPHOR JOY
Did you ever had that one lover who came to your life at the right time, at the right moment, just to make you feel good about yourself? Then gone, but living a joyful sense of wonder and their memory brings a grin to your face each time you think of them.
Heard a few days ago at a dinner party how if our lives were represented by a train, then some people are meant to be in it for only a few stations while others stick for life, or longer periods of time, anyway – and each one sums up a teaching, a gift.
In the midst of the bad ending of a long relationship came along this guy. I was dealing with insecurity issues by the fact the more we grew apart the more he was already seeing other girls (one of those "kill me but don't live me" situations, unfortunately). I was feeling broken and rebuilding my sense of self–worth when suddenly, one night out with some friends this guy came to talk to me. I remember feeling a little awkward at first by the fact he looked straight to my eyes and mouth – when you are not feeling very confident this can be both intimidating and a little uncomfortable, but curious and later increasingly more and more comfortable by his calming and charming personality, so we talked and talked. I think the only moment we weren't staring at each other's eyes was to get another drink from the bartender. Then, very straightforwardly, told me I had beautiful eyes but it was a shame I couldn't hide my sadness away, that it was too obvious. Asked for my number but also wanting to know if I would like to let him get my smile back sometime, no pressure and no expectations – the sole purpose would be have a good time.
A week later he asked me out for dinner and then went to this lounge bar for a drink. Again, talked and talked for a couple of hours and without hesitating, invited me over to his place saying "So, beautiful, night is not over yet if you want, would you feel comfortable having dessert at my place?"
Until that moment of my life I was sure if a man came down on me it was another stage in the relationship, when you already know more about your partner, get-off's and there's more trust. Well, not this guy.
He made me feel so comfortable with and without clothes on that he became the most hugely important "not–serious–relationship" I have ever had. Our first kiss was explosive. He carried me in his arms to his bedroom and began undressing me while kissing on the mouth and neck the whole time. He then came down on me making me come… twice (What?!) It was like we knew each other before, on another life, so he knew exactly what I liked and how I wanted it… or else, he just probably eats pussy a lot and knows exactly what to do, both with his fingers and his mouth there, but the first thought is more romantic, so let stick to that one. LOL!
Regarding oral… any partner making you come the first time shows not only empathy, but strong patience and caring of your pleasure too. I love when a man is straightforward in and out of bed! I am strangely more direct for some men feel comfortable with, and both talking and love making with this guy was deliciously open.
He came to live in my city on a one-year short term assignment by his company, and I was both working on myself and had just broken up that three-and-a-half-year relationship, so, we both knew this thing between us had a due date. Still, it became so very, deeply special.
During daytime we were two single people, going to work and having a life of our own. But by nightfall I was his, and he was mine. Nobody knew about us seeing each other, which was hot. Keeping ourselves… to ourselves.
One time a friend of a friend told me on a reunion she had seen me with a gorgeous man having dinner and that I needed to spill every detail, which I didn't haha! Only wide smiled and told them "A lady never kiss and tell, he is a friend". We talked on the phone nearly everyday and like a clockwork, we met at least once a week. We checked schedules and agreed on a day, which could be different each time regarding work, commitments, etc. We talked and talked, sometimes we had dinner out, others cooked and stayed in, but the routine was always the same… we talked and talked, laughed hard and made love all night long. With him, I did things I had never done before. The times he put me on a new position I didn't knew where to put my legs he just smiled, grabbed gently and kissed my foot and thigh (or both feet) and place my leg gently where it needed to be. I abso-fucking-lutely loved the fact he was so much taller and bigger than me, so he turned my body upside down, front and back, lift me with his big arms with no effort needed and cradle my head during sex. It was So. Hot. He liked to make sure I came first once or twice so that I was very and properly lub'ed to try several positions and for him to be able to pound hard without hurting me. A total gentleman.
I don't know if I was the only one… probably not. I don't know if I was just the "wednesdays/fridays" on his calendar. But the truth is, the communicating and caring way we built about each other made me grew nothing but love and respect for him. We listened each other, we laughed at the same blackest of black humor jokes, we could talk, really talk, for hours, and we could also make it for hours. We both smoked at the time, so we always shared one cigarette after sex, still staring and grinning, like worshiping each other. He helped me in so many ways rebuilding my confidence and self-esteem in a time I really needed it, I can't be thankful enough.
He went back to his country a few years back. I like to think of him happy, fulfilled with whichever life he has chosen. Every time I think of him I am thankful he stepped on my train, even though it was only for a few stations. I hope I gave to him the same way he gave to me. His name lights up my heart and puts a smile on my face. Love to send him good thoughts every time I see mate-herb tea, enjoy a steak and wine, see something about that number 10 Maradona good-vibe football thing I will never understand… or a man goes down on me on the first date.
Here's to you "M".