On Erotism, from a DarkAngel's point of view
Sometimes I wonder if there are many… or any people out there, from amongst the 7.5+ Billion people on the planet now, who grew up in a family as twisted as mine. Or are "functional families" those very rare cases? Sadly, and increasingly grim, seems discouraging just to go on-line in the morning these days.
And yet, on the other hand, equally bright and relevant to go back to basics. To our basic instincts.
Have the guts to understand our desires. To cling with our fingernails to the simplest things we like again in order to recognize what makes us human and unique in the first place.
Enjoy the little things again.
Little details like remembering how a certain person licks his lips before he smiles and bite his inner lip, after. Or how their pupils change size when theirs meet yours… I am not on coke right now, I swear! Nor then, when I witnessed such an event with a beautiful blue-green eyed specimen. Or that very first taste on your tongue from your favorite ice-cream flavor. And how it starts to feel asleep. Nonexistent but sensitive, still. Or the smell of book pages when you open to continue reading. Yeah, I know, Kindle resistant, sue me.
Title aside, there's something erotic about books. Ever since I was a little girl I used to go into the study and use a chair to reach those bookshelves. My father was a psychiatrist and my mother a devoted… alcoholic, semi-buddhist, new-ager, Catholic woman, so, there were enough points of view on that room to mess-up any curious head with; books about anything (from painting, to shrink-stuff, to vegetarianism and Deepak Chopra) and everything (sex included). This is how I got into books and read the weirdest things for a girl to be interested in reading, like Erick Fromm's "Fear of Freedom" at eleven, which i honestly had to come back to a few years later in order to really understand, or George Bataille's "L'Erotisme" at four-teen, which I was glad to find on an old library around my neighborhood, and came to understand until now. Rest assured, though! I did manage to go out and mess my life up, anyway ;)
So, three things you unlikely know about why terms like NSFW (used on lovely, dark, beautiful blogs like this one), make total sense perhaps, on a deeper level I mean, you know, to help you get some of your shit together. Ready? Hump, let's suck on this…
(... That's right, CHEERS man! GREEN–SMOOTHIE–AND–DIRTY–MIND–FUCK)
So, according to this dude George Bataille (French philosopher, 1897 - 1962) Erotism is solely and inherently an internal experience inside each and every one of us; and it's awareness come from defining the three aspects which differentiate us all, humans, from every other animal species on the planet: work, awareness of death (that is, in case you forget – Inevitability awaiting for us, ergo, live accordingly, love!) and violence (or a desire to kill or have sex).
On "L'Erotisme", Mr. George makes lots of reference to Marquee the Sade – Whom not even being arrested, found clinically scary-crazy and locked on a psychiatric guard kept him from harming other people who, intriguingly, found his writing both offensive and deeply erotic – philosophizing around Marquee's uncontrollable pleasure on pain, violence and even death infringement upon others. Of course, it's written under the loop of only-men oriented sexuality, and women as mere role-players to fulfill a violent act by men. Now, before jumping to feminist–charged conclusions, please let me tease your XXI Century mind with this – It would be amazing to talk to him and pick his brain loaded with everything he knew from back then and everything that has changed over the last half-century, regarding gender roles on work and society, sexuality, gender fluidity, sexual fluidity, new and up coming family models… And Women's claim of their own sexuality, which exploded the decade he died.
Owning our sexuality today feels like a responsibility. Because the basic ideas are all very true and very relevant today.
Sex was understood by Mr.George as a violent act that could disturb work activity, so there was a limit imposed between working hours and free time–in every society that has ever existed.
Reactions by humans against death (burials!) and sex (for pleasure, not reproductive purpose and limited by work) are the most palpable aspects that differentiate humans from animals. Death and Sex ruled by or through Violence is both scary and fascinating – Tempting, even. Or IS IT... Erotic? There is a proximity between fear of death, the horrors around it and the aspects of sensuality. Seen by society to date, as shameful, obscene and profane.
That kind of wisdom deserves using Edwardian Typography in motion here… but my blog template won't allow it. In other words explained by him, we rather dispense morality uncontrollably and, cowardly or conveniently, live adventures through others than live the life we want, instead.
"What?" you say, allow me to explain.
erotism begins there where the animal is not anymore, and yet, "animality" is it's foundation (Think, for example, orgies – Subject widely explored on the book, btw). Being this very foundation what humanity runs away from (Oh, no! Orgies are immoral!), but clings desperately from it at the same time (Oh! So you ARE curious about orgies after all, ha? Close that and finish reading this first). Physical sexuality is to erotism, then, just like the brain is to thought. Erotism is there then, inherently, within us, inside us, asleep… Or teasing us when proper strings are touched (either by one or all our senses).
Communication (Hello, books!) allowed a breakthrough in evolution, but we have, however, managed to miss the point of it all
Live, love, laugh, enjoy, learn, experience both joy, happiness and some sort of pain, emotional pain, physical pain, but learn still. Allowing us to become skillful creators of our own reality. Thoughts become our reality. It's kinda sad to me meeting many people focused so much on learning everything Outside of themselves, trying to find answers about themselves There. No wonder how unhappy and unfulfilled many of us can feel. It's like we've been programmed to make our plans –many times based on pre-made bad experiences and traumas passed down to us by our family and place of birth, like focus on making money and make every decision based solely around it, as the sure way to Light & Happiness– without understanding (or even wondering) why we still feel LOST.
Until we understand, wether we like it or not (and aside of been born on a country exposed to the horrors of war on a daily basis), that our lives are ruled by Work, Sex and the level of awareness of our own Death –figuring out who we are and what we like, accept it, embrace it and live it– we are an emotional wreckage.
Honesty approached with respect about your kinks, turn-on's and turn-off's with other people, is the most powerful gift and tool you have to find out THE kind of work you want to dEVOTE YOURSELF TO and who you want to have sex with TO SHARE THE RIDE AND A PUPPY WITH IT'S VERY OWN INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT. Because you and me both will be death someday. THAT'S NO SCIENCE FICTION, IT'S A FACT. FUCK SAD TROMBONES, IT IS THE WAY IT IS!
Now, why don't you hump over to this video and listen to Chet Faker's "I'm Into You" yeah? If you are not drooling by the end of the song, I'll send you a picture of my left boob to you. Just kidding, haha! But I would if I had both hands free… The left is already busy ;)