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10 REASONS YOU SHOULDN'T DATE FRENCH MEN

You know, between friends, dating and two serious relationships (THE LAST ONE: AT LEAST ON MY PART), I think I've had my fare share of french men. It's intriguing, the "je ne sais quoi" about them… 

Is it they're part of a wine culture claiming to be born practically with tannins instead of red globules on their blood, maybe? Na, one of them was literally Out after just one glass (it was cute watching him transform his crooked manly-sexy grin into drunken-dude still trying to grin). 

Is it the 'romantic-ness' coming from a country where it's capital city is known as "The City of Love"? Nope, ironically, every one of them describes parisians in general as 'not very nice people', and many of them are so sarcastic and pessimist they would put any Scientist or Environmentalist On Shame, these days.  They certainly can see Every Negative Angle of a situation and Skillfully complain about everything and anything. I am actually not joking – Even they admit it! 

Perhaps it is the over-excitement about skiing that I'll probably never understand, because my favorite part about skiing is the jacuzzi and hot-sweet wine afterwards relieving the pain in my body, or else, at least helping to forget about it until the next day. Yeah, that can't be either.

So, looking back I have no other desire but to express the following:

  1. Their chronic depression skills are naturally balanced and sometimes surpassed by their gorgeous smiles and company.

  2. Need to talk? No problem, every french men I have met are great listeners and conversationalists… they might poke or make fun of you haha! But they will for sure listen and try to help.

  3. After Molière… They all bifurcate onto different personalities around what it means to be funny, adding to their own recipe – Sarcasm, personifications, impossible changes of face expressions and body language. Combined to complaining about something – Laughing becomes easily a stomach-ache and tears with them.

  4. The word 'hug' is too simple for them, so, instead of telling you they want to hug you, they will say something like "Come're, I want to have you in my arms" – Equally corny as poetic, melting the heart of even the most cold-blooded person.

  5. In case you don't melt by those words, their embrace will. I have to admit, never felt better hugging someone other than french men. They don't just hug you, they wrap themselves around you holding you close to their bodies, feels amazing.

  6. Even when they say they "don't know how to cook", they do! A french guy who tells you he can't – But cooks a pasta for you with the sauce made from scratch, adding cream, two types of cheese, vegetables, meatballs and all, is insulting – And delicious.

  7. "French kissing" – A term very well and fairly earned, period. French men understand tongues are not just for proper diction. 

  8. Which of course, leads to use their tongues and lips not only to kiss on the mouth – Beautifully. Gentle. Rhythmic. 

  9. Naturally, this shifts to 69 effortlessly. How can you not want to give back the pleasure inflicted? This "OMG-Beau" french guy I was with would grab me gently and then hard and sharp spanked me during 69. He would wrap me in his arms and do this while kissing. Then, with one hand spank one, then another, and another. Somehow he knew how to bring pulsations provoked by spanking and the rhythm in his kiss feel in unity. Inevitably, I would start moaning and this vibration in my throat while kissing him made us come together.

  10. And of course, the love making. Ahhh! The love making. Wether I've been blessed by only great-in-bed french guys or are these countrymen on a quest to have amazing sex. As I stated above, they are not precisely romantic, but they just know how to hit on the spot. Every. Single. Time.

So, be careful. You can end up crazy-in-love with A GORGEOUS FRENCH MAN, DATE ONLY if you are willing to take that risk.

BECAUSE I'M SURE AS HELL FUCKED!

HAPPY FRENCH–KISSING ;)

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